Complicated
As I sit here...this beautiful "nearly fall" morning...sipping my coffee, I can't help but think. I've struggled for a long time with how to put this into words...but I'm going to try today. My hope is that once on paper (or internet blog that no-one but me reads), it will all make sense. I'm reflecting back to how much has changed over the last 3 years, with the additions of my 2 darling children. I'm always amazed at how fun life is...watching the world thru their eyes is more enlivening that I ever understood. On another note, and the one that concerns me, is how friendships change.
I guess all relationships change/mold/morph...but I'm really shocked at the friendships that fizzle down to a nearly non-existence. I can't help but have a feeling of sadness when I think how close I used to be with some people (bffs)...and now its as if I'm the only one who cares. It seems the change happened shortly after having children, so my thought is the "she's too busy" is a factor. But, I'm not ever ever ever too busy for my friends. I always make a conscious effort to stop everything I can control (even though my kids are always in the background) and listen when a friend calls. I don't agree that Facebook is a great tool to keep in touch with friends. Social media is a poor excuse for people who are too lazy to pick up the telephone or drive to someones house. LOL or a :) does not give me the same warm fuzzy that I get from hearing a friend laugh and seeing her smile. I feel blessed to have some new friends with younger kids that understand that 7pm isn't a good time to talk on the phone or go out to dinner...but, I still can't help but grieve about the friendships that have morphed into an unrecognizable state of nothingness. On many occasions, I've called these people (and sometimes they don't even call me back), inviting them out to do things...sending the personal messages... and the conversations are always about them and they don't ever just call me to say "hi/how are you." It's sad, it's bothered me for a long time, and it's very complicated. I guess I'm blessed to have the friends who do care... and I just need to get-over the friendships that I'm obviously the only one that cares about (jeeze that sounds harsh).
Well, my hope that putting the problem into black and white would help me sort it out.... darn, it didn't work.
On a good note, the kids and I are going to the Charles County Fair today. Seeing there eyes light up will make me everything happy...even though I'll still struggle with missing certain fun friendships that obviously won't ever be the same.
I guess all relationships change/mold/morph...but I'm really shocked at the friendships that fizzle down to a nearly non-existence. I can't help but have a feeling of sadness when I think how close I used to be with some people (bffs)...and now its as if I'm the only one who cares. It seems the change happened shortly after having children, so my thought is the "she's too busy" is a factor. But, I'm not ever ever ever too busy for my friends. I always make a conscious effort to stop everything I can control (even though my kids are always in the background) and listen when a friend calls. I don't agree that Facebook is a great tool to keep in touch with friends. Social media is a poor excuse for people who are too lazy to pick up the telephone or drive to someones house. LOL or a :) does not give me the same warm fuzzy that I get from hearing a friend laugh and seeing her smile. I feel blessed to have some new friends with younger kids that understand that 7pm isn't a good time to talk on the phone or go out to dinner...but, I still can't help but grieve about the friendships that have morphed into an unrecognizable state of nothingness. On many occasions, I've called these people (and sometimes they don't even call me back), inviting them out to do things...sending the personal messages... and the conversations are always about them and they don't ever just call me to say "hi/how are you." It's sad, it's bothered me for a long time, and it's very complicated. I guess I'm blessed to have the friends who do care... and I just need to get-over the friendships that I'm obviously the only one that cares about (jeeze that sounds harsh).
Well, my hope that putting the problem into black and white would help me sort it out.... darn, it didn't work.
On a good note, the kids and I are going to the Charles County Fair today. Seeing there eyes light up will make me everything happy...even though I'll still struggle with missing certain fun friendships that obviously won't ever be the same.
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