Love + Two

What a beautiful saying.... and a great reminder! This last trip to Texas reminded me of many of my personal convictions vested in history and latent with vulnerabilities.  Visiting home is always a trip that presents mixed feelings.  Prior to going, I'm nervous.  When I'm there, I'm nervous.  When I leave, I'm just pure sad.  I'm usually overwhelmed with emotions....and this trip was no different.  If this blog was locked....I'd probably add more.  Let's just leave the reading between the lines.  Upon returning home, I just pray my family will always know my deep love for them -- and no matter what, they are wonderfully made.

Days like today.... I miss my sister.  Not the one taken by a terribly misunderstood disease, my real sister!  My sister that loved to sing, dance, and make others happy with simple acts of kindness.  Growing up, she was mine until the age of 12.  Now, I see the friendship sisters have....and I seriously have to remind myself it's okay to be sad.  It's normal to grieve the loss of having a "normal" sister....but jeez, I'd like say I was over it by now.  She's beautiful to this day, in every way.  Her struggles aren't alone as my mom has been by her side.  My mom and I are both stronger women....but my sister, ugh....I wish she didn't have to live such a constantly tough life.  Mental illness is a terribly misunderstood disease.  Unfortunately, the disease has now diminished her body to cause physical pains too.  If I could take all the hurt and pain, I would!  Obviously, I can't -- in turn, I just pray that anyone suffering (to...

I'm a firm believer that God mad us all with intended flaws.  My intended flaw, I weep for others pain. Don't ask me why, but I've been known to cry for hours after passing a homeless person or talking to someone in pain.  I rarely cry for my issues or pain.  I ran the last 9 miles of my first full marathon (26.2 total miles) with a broken foot and didn't know it.  When I do cry for myself, it catches me off-guard.  However, I've shed a thousand tears for friends, family, and strangers.  Today, I have one special guy on my mind and will continue to pray for his heart.  Praying for Moxie's dad, Papou! 

My Sunday mornings usually start with a long run & then church.  This morning was sans-long-run but filled with a great spirited sermon.  The lesson was a great reminder of the teachings of love in the Bible.  The good old, "you can know about love, you can memorize the word love, but do you really act with love in your heart?"  In this fast paced world, we tend to focus on ourselves.  It's a continual process to ensure we act with love for others as our first interest.   After all, February is the month of love....and Sunday is my favorite day. Did I mention I spent 10 hours painting one room of my little base-house?? That was a Sunday act of personal torture :D  All joking aside, I'm glad one room isn't white...now to find motivation to paint more rooms.  <yawn>

This morning started off with me wondering why my alarm went off at 430...then I remembered, just because yesterday was a snow day does not mean today is a snow day.  It's a good thing my alarm had more sense than me.  It was only a 2hr late arrival.  I quickly hopped up and scarfed down breakfast/coffee and started to shovel.  We seriously had at least 14 inches on my car alone.  Thank goodness I shoveled the driveway yesterday, it was only a few new inches on the driveway.  Before heading out to work, I made the kids & hubby breakfast...heart shaped beignets and biscuits with jelly heart filling. The kids had a fun playdate with friends while I was at work for a few hours.  After work, it was a quick 30-minute kettleball workout and since I had dinner in the crockpot....it was all too easy!  I really should make crockpot meals more often.  There is truly something to be said about coming home to a house that smells of yummy dinner...

What an amazing, beautiful & fast pace world we live in. I'm not sure how the month of January zoomed by, but February has arrived without notice (ok, other than the calendar).  Today was a sunny day spent watchingTyler's first   basketball game, a trip to Oxon Hill National Park, a quick 5 mile run, homework & move night. Along the way, I ran into an old friend who is a Wounded Warrior looking for help transitioning into the civilian workforce. It's sooo refreshing to chat with an old friend like no time has passed. Sharing trials & tribulations face-to-face really makes problems manageable.  Bring on the month of love for great friends, family, & all those who support us all!

It's soooo hard to accept that people will judge you, no matter what you do.  I'm working hard to accept that not everyone reacts in a positive manner.  It's hard.... I wish everyone had awesome sauce all the time, to include myself and everyone in my family.  The fact is, we are all imperfect humans and most look to God to help them walk the right direction.  It's still inevitable, we sway at times.  My issue...when that sway really hurts.  This post is insanely ambiguous...and I'm okay with that.  Morale of the story, once again my heart is hurt by the sway of others.  I consider myself on this beautiful planet to live as the bible taught me.... selfless acts of kindness, sharing my passions, and continued growth towards his teachings.  This post is a reminder to myself....this journey isn't without other imperfect people who will (I'm optimistic and its unintentional) hurt me.

Personally, I'm still adjusting to 2014. Our 2013 ended with a bang, literally a bang, hit & run. On our way up to NY we got a flat tire and then we're delayed a night because of a major ice storm. After spending two cold but fun days with family, we sadly said goodbye to head home. That's when we got stuck on a snowy hill and then hit from the front.  Long story short, the guy who hit us took off.  My car had over $4k in damage. I consider our little family of four lucky to survive without injuries!  We are seriously thankful for insurance.  All this drama recently has me struggling for basic energy.